‘What the hell was he doing down there?’ Cara wiggled her hips and attempted to steer him into the right area. She lifted her bum and grabbed his hair, pushing him down slowly to nestle between her thighs. She hoped this was sexy and not too obvious.
‘Oh yea, you know what you want girl. Oh yea, you know I can make you feel good, mmm’ Greg murmured under the bed sheets in response.
You really don’t know what I want, Cara thought as she lay back on the pillows frustrated. He had been down there for 10 minutes, and Cara hadn’t even felt a tickle, never mind an orgasm.
She couldn’t believe it, she had fancied Greg for ages. She had watched him across the office with his broad shoulders and cheeky grin. She and the other girls in the office, had swooned and fantasised about his tight bum every time he bent down to put paper in the printer.
Greg was confident, charming and fit as fuck! Cara couldn’t believe her luck when he started flirting with her at the office summer bbq earlier that night. She had laughed at his jokes and gently slapped at his arm to show her interest. They had danced and drank, and Cara thought if nothing else happened, she would go to bed happy. When Greg had suggested a night cap, she arrived back at his house giddy and horny. Now all she felt was frustratingly sober.
Cara glanced at Greg’s digital clock on the bedside locker 2:34 AM, she better finish this up or she’ll never get any sleep before work tomorrow.
‘Mmm yea oh Greg’ she feigned enjoyment as she wriggled under the sheets. ‘Oh Greg, I need you, I need you now’. She pulled at his shoulders and attempted to drag him back up the bed to meet her face to face.
‘You want it don’t you, you want my big dick, you naughty girl’ Greg climbed up the bed and lay on top of Cara, he held his weight slightly off her with his knees. He took her face in his hands, ‘You are beautiful’ and then he kissed her passionately on the mouth.
Now we are talking, Cara thought as she responded to his kiss. Her giddiness returned as she grew hungry for his kiss. Greg slowly moved above her head and she could feel the weight of his hips pushing against hers. Oh yea, here we go Cara cheered internally as she reached down to guide him gently into her. Cara stopped suddenly. Oh shit, Greg was already inside her and she had not noticed!
Greg thrust back and forth on top of her panting and grinding. Cara couldn’t even bring herself to pretend anymore. She lay there motionless and let him finish. Following the crescendo of Greg’s performance, he rolled away and lay beside her panting. He laughed and turned to face her smiling, ‘I wasn’t expecting that, Cara that was amazing’. He kissed her on the forehead and then fell back on his pillows. Before Cara could respond she heard his breathing change and then the slight rumble of a snore.
The next morning Cara stared at the office coffee machine and willed it to work faster. She was exhausted. Her disappointment had kept sleep away last night. ‘There you are!’ Michelle her colleague called as she entered the kitchen area. She hopped up onto the counter next to the coffee machine and smiled at Cara ‘Sooooo tell me everything! I am so jealous Gorgeous Greg you bitch!’
Cara raised her eyebrows and looked at Michelle with a desperate smile. ‘Oh no, no no no no no, please don’t tell me he was shit. Oh please don’t ruin this for me. If gorgeous Greg hasn’t a clue, then there is literally no hope for us!’
Cara took her cup from under the coffee machine and turned her back to lean against the countertop. She blew softly into her cup and took a long slow sip. The caffeinated aromas enticed her brain to lift its sleepy fog. ‘I really like him though, he’s funny, smart and so hot. I just don’t get it. Surely a man that good looking has had lots of women. I thought he was going to be a pro, I was so nervous.’
‘Who’s a pro?’ Darren asked as he bounded into the room and interrupted the women’s conversation. Cara shifted uncomfortable ‘Oh no one, just giving out about work as usual’ she rolled her eyes in a feeble attempt to distract Darren.
‘So what happened you last night? I was looking for you, I thought we could’ve shared a taxi home together.’ Darren eyed Cara with earnest. Michelle watched the fear and hope in his eyes as he waited for Cara to respond. She felt sorry for him and Cara too for that matter, who was now concentrating extremely hard on her right shoe. Michelle hopped off the counter and jumped between the awkward pair. ‘We went for a sneaky kebab.’
Cara welcomed the distraction and used it as her que to scarper from the kitchen. She arrived back to her desk and turned on her computer. She sat on her chair and placed her coffee next to the mouse. She let her head fall into her hands as she waited for the computer to boot up.
‘Morning!’ Cara felt the hair on the back of her neck stand to attention as she recognised the sultry tones coming from above her.
‘Oh hi eh, morning Greg.’ Cara blushed from her neck to her ears as she desperately attempted to pull the hair back from her face. She sat back in her chair and tried to look calm as she faced Greg.
‘You left so quick this morning I never got to give you these.’ Greg thrust a bottle of Gatorade and a packet of Panadol into Cara’s hand. ‘My trusty hangover cure, works every time’
‘Oh thanks, that’s very sweet’ Cara accepted the care package but couldn’t bring herself to look at Greg.
‘Right.. em..ok. Have a good day’ Greg noticing Cara’s discomfort turned and walked away scratching his head. Cara winced and placed her forehead onto the desk in front of her. The coolness of its surface soothing her pounding head.
Michelle announced her arrival at the desk beside Cara by swotting her a4 pad at Cara’s bent head.” It must be awful, two men pining after you and it’s not even 10am!” her sarcasm forcing Cara to lift her head from the desk.
“Darren is not pining after me don’t be ridiculous and Greg, oh I don’t know. Greg is actually just a nice guy.”
“Darren has been in love with you since you started here. You can pretend you’re just friends all you want, but he literally moons after you every day. Now if you really wanted someone to please you in bed that’s where you start. You could tell Darren exactly what to do and he would be so grateful, he’d probably do it twice!”.
Cara lifted her cheek from the desk and took the paracetamol with a large gulp of Gatorade. “Do you really think that Michelle? It’s funny isn’t it, we know exactly what we want, we shout about our needs but as soon as we fancy someone, we throw them out the window!”
“We are complicated creatures Cara, I don’t understand myself, so a man has no hope! If you like Greg, why not give him another chance. Maybe it was just the alcohol, he might be better sober or alternatively, just give Darren a shot!” Michelle smirked as she turned back to her computer and attempted to focus on the morning’s emails.
Cara struggled through the day. Her head pounded from last night’s activities and thoughts of what Michelle had said. She listlessly opened and closed emails and tentatively drafted responses. Her mouth tasted like last night’s tequila and her stomach was on a rollercoaster. At lunchtime Cara searched the web for a distraction. She then remembered her old travel blog she used to write and clicked on it. She scrolled through the pictures of Fiji, Thailand and wished she was back on those white sandy beaches. She read the last post from just over a year ago. She now couldn’t remember why she ever stopped blogging. She loved sharing her opinions and her likes and dislikes with the world. She celebrated when some stranger held the same views as her.
“Cocktails for breakfast are totally acceptable!” Boredmom27
Cara clicked new post and began writing about last night’s escapades and Michelle’s synopsis. She posed a question to the universe “Was ugly sex better?”
Cara looked at her watch, 5 past 4. Grateful it was officially an acceptable time to leave the office, she looked at Michelle. “Do you fancy a hair of the dog? I am still hanging and if I don’t have a few drinks I will never sleep tonight.”
“Already logging off” Michelle chirped as they grabbed their handbags and walked in companionable silence to the bar on the corner across from their office. As they walked into their usual Friday night haunt, they noticed the bar was already filling up with many suits desperate to start the weekend. As they waited at the bar for their drinks, Michelle nudged Cara in the ribs and whispered, “Heads up, here comes your next sexual conquest.”
“What? Who?” Cara turned confused and then noticed Darren walking through the bar waving at them. She swotted Michelle playfully and studied Darren with a new eye as he approached. He was a small man maybe 5’6/5’7 Cara surmised. He had stocky shoulders and large muscly arms from constant gym workouts she imagined. He had a shaved head and a permanent 5 o’clock shadow. He wasn’t ugly Cara determined; it was more that there was nothing remarkable about him. Darren could be any bloke that would feature in a health promotion poster in a doctor’s surgery that you instantly forgot about once you left.
“Hey guys, there is a gang of us from the office in the corner, all suffering together from last night. Do you want to join us?” Darren asked as he joined the women at the bar. “Sounds great” Michelle said as she winked at Cara and followed Darren to the corner.
The late afternoon rolled into night and Cara laughed and drank with her colleagues. All thoughts of her hangover and last night’s disappointment gone from her mind. As the barman signalled it was closing time. Cara looked around the near empty bar, Michelle was perched at the side of the pool table chatting to some guys she had met earlier in the night. Just her and Darren remained at the table. ‘I’m off’ she announced as she grabbed her bag and attempted to stand. ‘Woah easy there’ Darren steadied Cara as she stumbled a little. “Why don’t we share a taxi. I’ll make sure you get home safe’. Cara looked into Darren’s earnest face, he really was such a genuine guy. “Sure” she chirped as they left the pub together with Michelle watching on.
By the time they got to Cara’s apartment she had already decided she was going to give Michelle’s theory a try. The courage from several beers egging her on as she put her hand gentle on Darren’s leg, “Do you want to come in for a night cap?”
Darren could not hide his shock as he eagerly agreed. As soon as they had closed the apartment door Cara jumped on Darren. Filled with her new quest she was determined to find out if you could tell a man exactly what you wanted, and could he deliver. “She pushed Darren against the wall and pulled his t-shirt over his head. She kissed him passionately on the lips and then moved down to his chest. He tugged at her t-shirt and lifted it straight over her head in one go. His strong arms pulled her against him and he kissed her with such passion she felt her knees buckle. As the intensity between them grew so did Cara’s longing. Darren scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bedroom and lay her on the bed.
“Take your jeans off” Cara instructed. She laid back and watched him underdress pleasantly surprised by what she saw. “Now take mine off. Slowly”. Cara’s confidence grew as he responded to her instructions. Unafraid and uninhibited, Cara directed and guided Darren throughout the night. He responded tentatively and her body responded with delight. By the early morning Cara lay back on her pillows and fell into an exhausted and satisfied sleep.
Cara woke the next morning with a smile on her face. She yawned and stretched out her arms and wriggled her toes. As her eyes adjusted to the morning light streaming in the window, she noticed Darren was gone but there was note and a glass of water on her bedside locker.
“Sorry I couldn’t take you for breakfast. I have a race this morning, but I’ll take you for dinner instead, if you’ll let me, Daz xx”
Cara jumped out of bed and began humming as she busied herself around the apartment. She made some breakfast and then sat at her laptop excited to share her exploits with her loyal followers. “Wow, wow, and more wow” she began her post.
*****
The next few weeks past in a haze of drinks and sex with Darren. Cara couldn’t believe how attentive he was. He listened patiently to her instruction, asked if she was ok and yet still the passion and heat between them was electric. Cara’s confidence grew as she assumed an almost dominatrix role over her lover. She made the rules. No one else would know about them. This was strictly casual. Darren agreed obediently.
As the weeks went on, Darren no longer needed much direction, but Cara could feel him getting tired of the secrecy. He wanted to introduce her to his friends. He wanted to go out for dinner and he became less enthused to a pizza and a shag on the couch.
But as Darren’s enthusiasm to their secrets waned the interest in Cara’s blog post did not. Distracted by the many orgasms and fun, Cara had not noticed the views and comments on her blog had risen. 500,000 people had read her theory on ugly sex being better. Thousands had added their comments and opinions and a national debate had broken out. Some eager commentators had shared their fantasies while others had created a poll of the top ugly people to shag. Surprisingly Boris Johnson topped the list.
Early one Monday morning as Cara boarded the train to work, she thought about Darren. They had enjoyed another great weekend together. Apart from the sex, she really enjoyed his company. He was funny and charming, and she couldn’t help but admit to herself, she liked him. Maybe meeting his friends wasn’t such a bad idea.
Cara’s thoughts were interrupted by the radio DJs on her ear phones having a lively debate.
“He must be a real dog this secret guy Cara is sleeping with.”
“Lisa, you are good looking do you think you are bad at sex?!”
“I don’t agree with Cara Byrne at all. I think if you trust someone then the sex can be good no matter what they look like”
“Listeners call in with your stories of the ugliest sex you have ever had and let us know do you agree with the ugly sex debate?”
Cara froze in her seat. Her body temperature dropped instantly. Oh god she had just been outed on national radio! She blushed from her toes as she furiously looked around the carriage to see if anyone knew she was Cara Byrne. Panic and mortification kicked in as she scrambled up out of the seat and hurried off the train at the next stop.
Her fingers shook as she dialled Michelle’s number. “Well, hello. Glad to see you have managed to pull yourself away from your sex dungeon. How are you?”
“Michelle did you just hear the radio? Oh god Michelle it’s a disaster an absolute disaster. 2dayfm have picked up my blog post and just spoke about it and named me live on breakfast radio!!!”
“Oh my god!! Michelle screeched down the phone. “This is so exciting! You are going to be a celebrity. Did they mention me your best friend? I’ll have to listen back on their app. Oh wow this is so cool!”
“Michelle. This.is.not.cool! Darren listens to 2dayfm, Greg listens to 2dayfm. What if they have heard it. What if they know I have written about them! What am I going to do?! This is an absolute mess!”
“Oh shit yea, I didn’t think about that. Shit. Ok where are you now?”
“I have just got off the train and I am heading to the office.”
“Ok I’m nearly at the office. I’ll go in and check the coast is clear. I am sure they were already in the office and didn’t hear anything. You go and delete that blog now and I’ll ring you back to confirm everything is fine. Don’t worry we’ll sort it out.”
Cara ended the call to Michelle and fired up her laptop at the nearest train station bench. Please, please, please don’t have heard it she begged the universe, as she waited for her blog to load. Cara didn’t even read the comments or acknowledge the view count under the post as she pressed delete. Her palms were sweaty as she furiously typed on the keyboard. Her legs shook as she tapped her feet on the ground and hoped it would open up and swallow her.
Cara’s phone beeped and Darren’s name flashed up on her screen. “Now I know why you wanted to keep me a secret….”
Cara’s breath caught in her chest and her heart sank as she read the message. She read and reread the message. She willed an appropriate apology to come to mind but none did. She hovered over the reply button but there were no words she could say. She knew this was unforgivable.
Michelle rang back “Well I am too late for Darren. He knows and just txt me. Please tell me no one else at work has heard it?!” Cara pleaded down the phone.
“Eh look I am not going to lie. It’s pretty bad, everyone is talking about it. But, on the good side, no one knows it was Greg or Darren other than you and me and well, em them. So it’s not as bad as you think.” Michelle feigned optimism for her friend.
“Oh god how can I ever show my face ever again? Everyone will think I am some sex guru now or some absolute horn dog shagging all around me!”
“I would suggest you probably take a sick day today. Let it blow over and by tomorrow there will be some other news scandal everyone will be talking about. I am sure Nick Kryios will do something stupid and grab the headlines again. Don’t worry I’ve got your back. I’ll let tell them it was all made up.”
“Thanks Michelle. You are a good friend.” Cara ended the phone call and felt the lump in her throat rise higher and higher. Huge big sobs escaped her mouth as she sat on the train station bench. She couldn’t believe this has happened. She was embarrassed and ashamed but most of all she was devastated she had hurt Darren.
Cara didn’t go to work for the rest of the week. In fact, she didn’t leave her apartment. She changed her name on her take away delivery order and hid behind the door as they arrived. Eventually on Sunday evening Michelle called around for an intervention.
“You cannot stay locked up in here for the rest of your life. You will turn into one of those weird cat ladies just without the cat. Why should you be ashamed for talking about your sex life? Frigging men do it all day, every day and nobody says anything! You should probably be awarded the freedom of the city or get a book deal from this. I will not have it that you die of shame alone in this apartment. Anyway, it’s not all about you, think about what this is doing to me. If you die alone, it will be terrible for my reputation!”
Cara smiled for the first time all week. Despite Michelle’s dramatics she knew she was right; she couldn’t stay locked up forever. “The truth is Michelle. I eh, I had started to really like Darren. I am just really sad over losing him and hurting him. How can I ever look at him again?”
“Oh… right. I didn’t realise you actually cared about him. That is crappy.” Michelle slumped down on the couch next to Cara and gave her a big hug. “We are two very smart women. I am sure we can figure this out and make everything ok again.”
“I don’t know, how can he ever forgive me. I would need to publicly shame myself the way I have shamed him before I could ever even look at him again.”
“That’s not a bad idea.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“That is actually a great idea. Why don’t you do another blog or better yet take out a newspaper ad declaring you’re an idiot and you know nothing and then maybe Darren will see it and forgive you”
“Michelle, this is not a Hollywood movie. These things don’t happen in real life.”
“I don’t know. You didn’t expect your blog to be featured on national breakfast radio so stranger things could happen. Whatever you decide to do, you need to go to work tomorrow. There is no point losing your job over this, ok?”
“Ok. Yea I’ll be in work tomorrow. I think I am starting to go yellow from lack of natural sunlight anyway.” Cara hugged Michelle and sent her home as she mentally began to prepare herself for tomorrow.
