The celebrated restaurant stood out from the dark street like a reassuring beacon. Yonder! Its glittering lights radiated warmth, welcome and the promise of a good feed.
The married couple had arrived. They had walked huddled together in the cold, dark and narrow streets of an old suburb undergoing a renewal. The wife had both her arms around her husband’s for warmth and safety.
The husband let out a sigh of relief once their bodies were under the glow of the restaurant’s cosy incandescent lightings. He pushed open the front door and held it open for his wife to enter. They were here to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.
An attractive and smartly dressed waitress immediately spotted the couple. Her large brown eyes danced and her dimples deepened with her grin as she walked up to them.
‘Hi, we’ve got a booking at 7pm. The name is John, John Goddard,’ the husband announced himself.
The waitress took a look at her sheet and responded predictably, ’Good evening Mr and Mrs Goddard, welcome. So glad to you both. Please follow me.’
John and Marie followed the waitress. John watched the waitress’s hip sways as she walked efficiently to their table. Marie looked around at the well appointed dining room. She recognised the designer lights on the ceiling. She also liked the decorative lamps strategically placed along the walls to give off an opulent, yet cosy ambience.
Most pleasingly, the tables were large and well spaced out. It offered the patrons privacy without making them feel isolated. In the middle of each table was a small light to give the patrons a point of focus. It was a beautiful place. Marie was pleased with her choice for their special occasion.
Dining out was the “go to” activity for many married or dating couples. It was a pleasure designed almost exclusively to this population. Coordination was straight forward. They never had to think about which friend to invite or learn about other people’s dietary preference or requirements. It was Marie’s job to pick the restaurant and John’s to make the bookings. John rather enjoyed asking for a table for two. He saw it as more a proud declaration than a request. It reinforced his status of having a wife.
However, being together for forty years was’t always fun. There were plenty of conflicts. So far, John and Marie had both been able to navigate successfully. Each incident would pass and a sense of peace would return. Let it go. It’s fine. Forget about it. Let’s move on. It was tricky though. With each friction, a bit of shine was taken off each other. A bit of scar was left behind.
‘I don’t know, I just go along with whatever she says. It’s easier that way. I don’t have the energy to explain myself or justify my decisions. I just want to keep the peace.’ John had once confided in his friend over a beer.
‘John can be a bit dull, truth be told. He’s so passive and he leaves everything to me. I wish he would lead more. I have to drag him along to everything. I wish he was better. I sometimes wondered if I had made the right choice. But here we are,’ Marie complained to one of her girl friends.
‘Marie can be demanding sometimes. I have enough stress at work to deal with. I don’t understand why she can’t be content,’ John continued his gripes with his friend.
‘I’m so bored sometimes. We don’t have fights anymore but we also talk less and less. He’s in his own world and I’m left to my own devices. Sometimes, I wonder if he still cares,’ Marie frowned as she unburdened her feelings.
The food was exquisite. Under the romantic influence of soft lighting, slow music and a delicious bottle of Pinot Noir, John felt more loving towards Marie. He remembered the days when Marie would squeal with delight in seeing him. She was happy, petite and phenomenally attractive. He was her hero, the best thing that had happened to her. She made him feel important.
John searched Marie’s face for a glimpse of the past. He desperately wished to see it again. But her face was different now. The girlish glee was replaced by a look of dullness and discontent. What happened to the happy girl that he fell in love with? John felt a weight of sadness crawl across his chest. It was painful. He quickly reached for his glass to bury that unpleasant feeling.
John had developed a good career through the years. Their financial situation had improved out of sight. Yet, they had become more distant. She had become unsatisfied, unhappy and unfulfilled. He felt that she had become more and more critical of him. She even started to make comments about his work and how he should speak on his teleconference calls. Why? John felt that Marie no longer adored him.
‘Are you okay, Darling?’ Marie asked noticing the change in John’s demeanour.
‘Yes Honey, I’m fine. The food is pretty amazing, don’t you think?’
‘Yes, I like the entree the best. The figs were delicious.’
‘The tomahawk was cooked perfectly too,’ John added.
‘Yes, it was very tasty and tender.’
‘Here, a toast to us,’ John lifted his glass.
‘A toast to good health,’ Marie responded.
‘And happy days!’ John added.
As soon as the word ‘happy’ left John’s lips, he felt uncertain. Happy?
‘Let’s get dessert. The highlight of the meal,’ John looked around for the waitress for the dessert menu. He was not going to share his awful thoughts. He would let that negative thought go.
When they got home from dinner, they let their routine take over. John went straight to his laptop to check his email. He was expecting a response from the US. Marie got changed and showered. She then turned on the TV and watched a couple of episodes of a new drama. John was asleep by the time Marie crawled into bed.
A few weeks later, John came home to a hostile Marie. Her eyes were dark and her whole body shook with rage.
‘Whoa, what’s wrong?’ John asked after throwing his keys into the key bowl.
‘How could you?’ Marie seethed.
‘How could I what?’
‘How could you do that?’
‘Do what?’
‘I didn’t know that you were so depraved.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘I was tidying up your study and I found this disgusting thing.’
John immediately went into his study following where Marie was pointing. He had no idea what Marie was referring to. He looked around and saw that the books and documents on his desk had been placed neatly in a pile. The carpet had been vacuumed and everything was in place. Marie must have been cleaning and everything looked normal.
Then he saw it. Slumped against his book shelf on the floor was a deflated female plastic figure. She had dark painted hair, ridiculously large eyes and a odd looking o-shaped mouth.
Oh Fuck!
John was suddenly filled with shame and rage. Jesus Christ, can’t a man have a little privacy? Must she know and control everything? He thought to himself.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Marie shouted at John.
‘And what do you think you’re doing? Why are you snooping around in my space?’
‘I was cleaning for you as I had been doing all your life!’
‘Alright, alright. Why are you so upset? It’s just a toy. It’s not that expensive. As a matter of fact, it was actually on sale.’
‘Oh John, you have no idea. This is terrible. I have never felt so humiliated in my life.’ Marie broke into tears.
‘What are you talking about? This has nothing to do with you.’
‘Nothing to do with me? Are you kidding? My husband, my husband of forty years would rather have sex with a blowup doll than me! How am I going to live with that?’
‘Oh Marie, don’t be ridiculous. You don’t understand. This has nothing to do with you. It was just, just…’ John scrambled to find an explanation to diffuse the situation.
‘Oh Marie, for goodness sake, it’s just a toy.’
‘A toy? It’s not a toy. It’s an insult. Do you know how embarrassing this is for me? What you’re telling me is that I am not as good as a plastic toy. Look at her face. It’s ridiculous and ugly. Yet, you find her more desirable.’
‘Jesus Christ, Marie, you’re taking this all out of proportion. Please stop being crazy. How do you know that I even use it?’ John tried a different tact to minimise the situation.
‘If you weren’t using it, you would’ve thrown the damn thing out. It’s here. It’s in your cupboard. You are using it!’
‘Come on Marie, it means nothing.’
‘It means nothing. That’s what they all say. It’s just sex. You know what. I would rather you have an affair. Seriously. Preferably with someone gorgeous. I can handle that. To lose to an ugly doll? That’s way more humiliating.’
‘Marie, I had never been unfaithful to you. This is nothing but a toy. It’s nothing!’
‘John, this is not a toy. This is you slapping me in the face. You’re telling me that I’m unattractive, I’m not good enough.’
‘No Marie. I love you. You know that. We’ve been married for a long time. How could you get upset over something so trivial?’
‘It’s not trivial. Can’t you see it? It’s the fact that we’ve been married so long that makes this so upsetting. You’re doing things behind my back. You don’t like me anymore. You’re just too gutless to tell me so. I deserve better.’
John had no response to that. He knew that Marie was right. She had nailed it. He had been avoiding her instead of addressing the issues for too long. His fear of confrontation had led him to the edge of the waterfall. He had put himself first.
Oh God! I have screwed up.
‘I’m so sorry Marie. I really am.’
‘This is going to cost you. That disgusting blowup doll will be the most expensive toy that you’ve ever bought!’
